Welcome to the Newborn Era

Welcome to the newborn era — where time is fake, coffee is a food group, and your baby’s favorite hobby is staring at ceiling fans like they’re Renaissance art.

Here’s what you think you need:

• Swaddles
• Diapers
• A bassinet
• A peaceful maternity leave filled with bonding and naps

Here’s what you actually need:

• One-handed snack skills
• A water bottle the size of a toddler
• A podcast you can follow even while half-asleep
• A sense of humor
• A lactation-safe top that doesn’t require an engineering degree to open

Breastfeeding while working is basically a superhero origin story. You’re pumping in supply closets, answering emails with one hand, and Googling “is cluster feeding normal” at 2 a.m. like it’s your side hustle.

But here’s the magic:
Your baby thinks you’re perfect.
Your milk is literally custom-made.
And every day, you’re learning a little more and laughing a little harder.

Welcome to the club. We have snacks.